come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
