We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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