white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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