my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
