So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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