this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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