So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
We're too hungover to prance.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
