Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
