there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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