I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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