she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
