What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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