Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
It's blow job season.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
