i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
