I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize