can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
