Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize