would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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