I think my fart just growled at me.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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