you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
