Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
