I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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