I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize
