Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
