As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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