Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
