Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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