So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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