Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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