Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
