I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
