what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
