In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
