but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
