I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
