Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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