he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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