I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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