mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
