During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
