If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
