Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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