i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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