I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
