Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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