OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
