But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
