some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
