I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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