Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
