My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
we're so committed to being not committed
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