Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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