a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
