hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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