Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize