is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
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