I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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