So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
