At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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