they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
