I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
