loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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