Christians are straight up FREAKS
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
