I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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